By Laura Berman, PhD
Does low self-worth negatively impact your relationships?
Q: I
struggle with maintaining healthy self-esteem in my relationships.
Sometimes I don’t feel like my partner really wants to be with me or
that I am worth the effort a relationship takes. What are some ways I
can improve my self-esteem and have better relationships in the future?
A: You
are certainly right that healthy self-esteem is crucial in establishing
and maintaining a long-term happy relationship. If you don’t feel
worthy of a loving, passionate relationship, then you are probably going
to settle for less when it comes to picking a mate who is deserving of
you. Or, perhaps you will find a wonderful mate, but your own lack of
self-esteem will lead to trust and insecurity issues within the
relationship. Whatever the case, low self-worth can definitely throw a
wrench into your love life — and into your bedroom. After all, how can
you really let go and enjoy sexual pleasure if you feel ashamed or
unhappy in your own skin?
The good news is that there are several ways you can improve your self-esteem.
First,
it’s important to find the source of where your feelings are coming
from so you can address the root of the problem. For example, does your
low self-esteem stem from negative experiences
in
your childhood or from being cheated on or mistreated by partners in
the past? Figuring out where your low self-esteem is coming from is the
first step in building a stronger sense of self-worth, and you might
also consider therapy as a valuable supplement to your exploration
during this time. A therapist can help you to “un-learn” painful
messages and establish healthier thoughts and stronger self-esteem.
It’s
also important to make sure that you are choosing partners who
contribute to your self-worth, rather than decrease it. Your partner
isn’t responsible for your mood or your self-esteem, and only you are in
charge of your own emotional health; however, there is no denying that
your spouse can greatly impact you. You should be with someone who
values and admires you, even when you are at a low point.
Last,
consider reinvesting in yourself and what makes you happy, whether it’s
volunteering, exercising, getting into a hobby, or focusing on your
dream career. Don’t feel guilty or selfish for focusing on your own
desires and interests, even if it’s something as simple as going to yoga
class or getting your nails done. You are worth it.
Source : http://www.everydayhealth.com
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