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9.2.16

How Jealous and Possessive Are You?

By Laura Berman, PhD

Jealousy is the green-eyed monster that can attack when you least expect it. Sometimes your possessiveness might be set off when you see an attractive stranger checking out your partner, or maybe an "unknown" caller on a cell phone sets off your jealousy. We all know that trust is key for a happy and healthy relationship, but sometimes that can be hard to come by! Take this quiz and find out if you are too jealous and possessive of your partner:

1. When you see your sweetie with another person:
A. You freak out and yell at your partner.
B. You feel a stir of jealously and keep it in.
C. You feel depressed and inadequate.
D. You're not disturbed at all.

2. If your partner starts talking to an attractive person when you are out:
A. You drag him away and start a fight.
B. You feel deeply hurt and use silence as punishment.
C. It depends on the person. Sometimes you might feel put off.
D. I am secure in my love and never worry.

3. Have you ever checked your partner's phone to see who he or she has been talking to?
A. All the time
B. A few times over the years
C. Just once because of strange behaviour
D. Never

4. When your partner goes out with friends, how many times do you call or text?

A. I call hourly.
B. I text hourly.
C. I'll text to see when he or she is going to be home.
D. I don't call or text unless it's an emergency.

5. When your partner mentions a conversation with the ex:
A. You confront your partner, insisting he or she still has feelings for this person.
B. You start a fight — but about a past issue.
C. You listen to what your partner has to say, but feel hurt that it's been brought up.
D. Doesn't bother you at all: You both have pasts.

6. What would you do if you found out your partner was Facebook friends with a high school sweetheart?
A. You'd immediately freak out and accuse her/him of cheating.
B. You'd log on to his Facebook page to check for incriminating evidence.
C. You'd ignore it and hope it was nothing.
D. You would tell her/him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd like to talk about it.

7. When you're at a party with a lot of attractive people:
A. You fake sick and insist that you leave.
B. You'll likely cling to your partner's arm the entire night.
C. You'd make the rounds on your own, but keep an eye on your sweetie.
D. Let her/him do her/his own thing. You're not worried!

8. You find a picture of your partner's swimsuit-clad ex in your attic. Do you:
A. Scream at him while shoving the picture in his face and demanding answers.
B. Chuck it in the trash without saying anything to her/him.
C. Bring the photo to your partner and judge the situation based on the reaction.
D. Leave it where you found it.

9. How would you react if you found a credit-card receipt for an expensive, romantic restaurant?
A. You'd immediately accuse her/him of cheating.
B. Ask him about it, and then accuse him of lying.
C. Ignore it, and let the resentment build.
D. Calmly ask about the charge when you're alone.

If you answered mostly A's: You have major problems with the green-eyed monster! You and your partner aren't connecting at all due to your feelings of insecurity and fears of cheating. It's time to sit down and have a serious talk about moving past these issues before your relationship is irrevocably harmed.

If you answered mostly B's: Your jealously is potent and comes out in passive-aggressive and even underhanded ways. You know that your paranoia is slightly unfounded, so you try to hide your jealous behavior, but your partner can sense it all the same. Talk out your issues. Confront them head-on rather than resorting to sneaky tactics.

If you answered mostly C's: Congrats! You can't help but feel jealous whenever you spot a sexy stranger near your sweetie, but you are in control of your emotions and know that your partner only has eyes for you.

If you answered mostly D's: You are one cool cucumber! Nothing shakes your confidence or your trust in your partner. Good for you!


Source : www.everydayhealth.com/

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